"A Mothers Hope In Times of Uncertainty" by Jessica Hanson
My whole life I had a dream of being a mother, just as many other young girls daydream about. That day finally came for my husband and me! Our story is far from what I ever expected it would be like.
E was diagnosed at 20 weeks in utero with Congenital Heart Disease. I had never heard of babies having CHD and I had never felt so defeated and terrified in my life. Not only did she have heart disease, but she was also diagnosed with Heterotaxy syndrome, a syndrome only 1 in 10,000 babies have. I went through many stages of emotions: anger, confusion, immense sadness, happiness that she was still alive. After visiting a cardiologist to receive a final and official diagnosis, E had 8 heart defects and she was given a less than 25% of surviving to term. Every day with E thriving in my belly was a miracle. Weeks passed and E got more and more active.
With every kick I literally thanked Jesus. I had always been close with God, but this just brought my faith in Him to a level I had never experienced. I called upon Him probably 100 times a day and would ask Him two specific things: to let His will be done and to allow my baby to be a walking testimony to his power and love. I also prayed that if he chose to take her from me, to prepare me and give me the strength I would need. The only thing that gave me an ounce of hope my entire pregnancy was clinging to the faith I had, knowing no matter what God would take care of our baby. God decided it was time for E to enter this world and she was born at 31 weeks.
After an 8 month hospital stay and a heart transplant at 5 months old, today I watch my baby girl playing on the floor babbling and saying the beloved word every mother dreams to hear: "momma." There's not a day that goes by that I hesitate to think that the only reason my daughter is here today is because of our almighty God. Without my love and faith in Him, that he'd protect my baby and allow her to truly be a walking testimony, I'm not sure E would have survived.
The things she endured while in the hospital are truly unbelievable unless you understand the medical world. On a daily basis she had respiratory struggles because of her premature lungs and her enlarged heart that was pressing against her lungs, leaving almost no room for her lungs to do their job. E was able to fight through a brain bleed, a stroke, several breathing tubes, seizures, heart catheters, and so much more.
If I listed all she has been through, I'd have an entire book written! What's important to understand is that without pressing into the Lord and truly giving every ounce of my being to Him and allowing him to completely take control, our outcome would be different. I remember the day I told God to take everything and anything from me, that I give my all to him. I had confidence that I knew He was hearing me and that my prayer would be fulfilled.
With my whole heart I continue to give myself to Him knowing that he will continue to bless me as His daughter because I have committed to Him as my Heavenly Father.