New Year, New Heart: Your Brokenness Is Welcome Here
The anticipation of a new year is quickly filling up social media news feeds and the majority of us are finding ourselves jotting down resolutions and wondering how 2016 flew by so quickly.
While some resolutions may include diets, financial savings, or just a healthier lifestyle in general, I want to be really honest and share what 2017 will look like for me. The past year has seen struggles, blessings, closed doors, and opened windows, but through all of this it has made me realize that my heart has only been partially open for God to come in. While I’ve seen God working in my life, I’ve also had to admit to myself that I’m still a broken human being.
Our flesh tries to tell us that we can heal our brokenness on our own, if we can make our lives perfect in every other area than we can eventually mend whats broken inside. The enemy tries to force us into believing that we will never overcome our pain, that we will be held in bondage. He tricks us into believing that “it is what it is” and the captivity we’re being held in is all we will ever know. The enemy also scares us into thinking that the world won’t accept us as the mess we are with all of our flaws.
But Paul tells us “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free” (Galatians 5:1).
He didn’t say WILL set us free, He said HAS set us free. It’s already been done, we’ve already been set free from the bondage of brokenness, shame, guilt, confusion, anxiety, worry, fear, loneliness, and whatever other lie the enemy is trying to convince you of.
As I begin to think of what 2017 will bring for me, all I want to do is run towards God and His purpose for my life. Not walk, but RUN. You see, my moment of realization came from a bathroom stall in a nightclub. Standing on the dance floor surrounded by tons of people, I felt lonely. I knew tears were about to come crashing down so I bolted for the bathroom. Once I got into the stall I let the first tear come down.. and I couldn’t stop. I was heartbroken because all of these things that I had tried to do MY way left me empty and broken. There I was in a room full of people who were dancing and laughing and I was bolting for the bathroom.
Brokenness doesn’t discriminate and no matter what our hearts and souls have broken from, the pain weighs the same. I don’t know if you’ve ever had one of those “how did I get here?” moments, but it can sometimes be a pretty harsh truth that you’ve been running from God and trying to do life on your own. I would pray for God to remove people that were blocking me from completely surrendering to Him and when He would try to shut the door I would pry it back open. You see, I claimed to have wanted God’s will for my life, but I wasn’t completely surrendering my all to Him. I was compromising; giving Him the pieces I chose to.
I’m far from perfect, to be honest even on my best days I’m still a bit of a mess. I’m the clumsiest and most accident prone person you’ll ever meet, I may have a tendency to get antsy in drive thru’s and my sarcasm is sometimes a second language. But God found me in that bathroom stall, when I was a total and complete mess with mascara rolling down my face and He chose to love me just the same. He called my name, He let me have my moment, He picked me up, and He CHOSE to love me all the same.
So for 2017 my only resolution is to love God with every single fiber of my being. To chase after Him and His perfect love. To be so overwhelmed with His goodness and faithfulness that I make a Monday look like a Friday at 5:00 PM! My heart needs a bit of healing and who better to heal this heart than the one who created it’s rhythm. No matter what your brokenness may look like, no matter how alone you think you are in the pain, I pray that this year you will choose to trust that Christ has already set you free and that you walk in that truth with me.
By Kaitlin Pridgen Kaitlin is a small town girl with a big faith and an even bigger appetite for God. She loves serving others and trying to make a difference no matter where God plants her. Kaitlin's mission in life is to show others the love and grace that's been given so freely to herself and encouraging others through her writing.